Chronicles of Leeches and La Pi Gu

La Pi Gu, or "Spicy Butt," is the sensation in your ass when you try to take a dump the morning after eating spicy food and discover you are not able to, OR are TOO able.

On our one and only night in Beijing (en route from Tibet to SFO), we celebrated with a bounteous and SPICY Ma La Hot Pot fest. The next day, we paid dearly for this reckless indulgence in spice. At any one point in time, there were at least 2 of us in an airport or airplane bathroom, leaving fragrant gifts everywhere we went. All day long, we took turns crouching on the throne at the Beijing airport, in the airplane on the flight to Seoul, at the Kimpo airport in Seoul, and on the flight to San Francisco.

Brian
Despite taking daily doses of Pepto Bismol before every meal, Brian disproved the (questionable) prophylactic power of Pepto by getting loose stool the very first morning of the trek. After this, Brian gingerly stuck to eating very small quantities instead. This seemed to work quite well (and some would argue that Richard should have followed Brian’s consumption-regulation method, see below for Richard), but perhaps he missed out on the joyous satisfaction of gluttonous satiation? Brian received the bloodiest, most gruesome leech attacks as well as experienced extreme nausea while driving through the highest summit at Karo-la pass (over 15,000 ft.). Although he did not suffer from diarrhea for most of the trip, the morning after the Hot Pot fest, Brian did learn what it meant to have “La Pi Gu,” passing three stools in the hotel, one at the Beijing airport and another on the airplane.

Richard
Plagued with stomach ailments throughout the trip, onset began with severe diarrhea on our rainiest, leechy-est and most difficult day of trekking. After the final count, Richard ended up passing six stools in 24 hours with impressive punctuality (three at camp and three on the trail every four hours). While hiking in the rain and leeches, Richard also suffered delirium and severe weakness (as a result of dehydration from diarrhea) but was lucky to have leeches chew on him in only two places - one on his upper thigh (dangerously close to you-know-what) and another on his upper lip. Though Richard definitely gets the award for most food-related cases of diarrhea and stomach cramping, he was the only one who did not experience an iota of altitude sickness. After literally gorging himself on hot pot in Beijing, Richard spent all of the next day either squatting painfully on the can or doubled over from cramps.

Jonathan
Every couple of days, Jon would complain of constipation – this was due more to his obstinate reluctance to use campsite outhouses than to any GI bug. Against the forces of nature and gravity, Jon was able to hold his dumps to a minimum of one every two to three days. Consequently, Jon’s favorite topic of conversation during every meal was the consistency, duration and satisfaction of his infrequent ‘loafs’. Jon was ‘leeched’ right between the eyes and all over his legs, putting him in third place for grossness of leech attacks. Although he refrained from eating too much spicy Hot Pot in Beijing, Jon still spent most of the next day in and out of airport bathrooms.

Me
Following Brian’s lead, I made up for lack of diarrhea attacks with abundance in leech attacks. Sporting a myriad of battle scars, I counted four on the left leg, seven on the right, one near my chest (dangerously close to ‘you-know-what’), and one on my waist. Stephanie was convinced this was due to my damn poncho, since it dragged on the ground and provided a smooth surface for crawling leeches. I experienced altitude sickness our first day in Lhasa, feeling weak, extremely fatigued, then woozy, dizzy, and nauseous. Luckily, at 15,000 feet, I experienced only a pounding headache and shortness of breath, but no accompanying nausea. I had thought about taking Diamox, but the consequence of peeing more than I already did was definitely the deciding and deterring factor, not to mention the thought of spending even more time in nasty Tibetan outhouses.

Peter
Despite being leeched between the toes and on his neck while asleep, Pete escaped relatively unscathed by leech attacks. Perhaps Nepalese leeches can’t stomach Caucasion blood? Pete remained healthy as a bull (and burped like one too!) until that fateful dinner at “Friends Snowlands” near Samye monastery. From that dinner until the end of the trip, Pete no longer found all food “awesome!” and unhappily succumbed to skipping breakfast, drinking coke for lunch, and having soup for dinner. Altitude sickness did not seem to affect Pete until we climbed over 15,000 feet, at which point he too was put out by a pounding headache and nausea. The morning after hot pot, it was no surprise that Pete had “the most severe diarrhea in his life.”

Stephanie
The first to get a leech on her shoe, Stephanie was actually unharmed by leeches overall, and instead, was beset by various other physical problems. In Sikles village, she contracted a bad cold from touching ‘snotty’ Nepalese kids and trekked for several days with mucous and phlegm plugging all orifices. During our first few days in Tibet, Stephanie dealt with the diuretic effects of Diamox, which was a big buzz kill given the loveliness of Tibetan outhouses (I felt her pain). We determined that a spider must have crawled into her sleeping bag at Samye because she found small red bumps all over her hands and feet a day later. The day after that fateful “Snowlands” dinner, Stephanie was weakened by waves of nausea until she (conveniently) threw up in Brian’s bathroom at the Wusi Hotel in Gyantse. The next day, Stephanie was also unable to enjoy the majestic sights of Karo-la pass (at over 15,000 feet) because she was debilitated by waves of nausea, fatigue, and dizziness until we descended to lower elevations.