to the jackass in 4c

I was woken up FIVE times last night - four times by the jackass that lives next door.

The first was a dripping that sounded more like rain falling from the bathroom ceiling.
I thought, "Oh lord, PLEASE don't let the bathroom ceiling cave in on me. AGAIN. (that's another story for the telling)" I tip-toed out, half expecting to see a gaping hole and the night sky, but only saw that the smoke alarm and some alarm-like contraption in the bathroom were both dripping buckets of water. UGHS. I kick the waste basket under the drip and go back to bed.

Then, an hour later, I get woken up again by incessant pounding on the door and whining. The jackass was drunk and yelling, "I closed a deal for 500K! I closed a 500K deal!" My roommate yelled back "We don't care. Go away! Shut up!" The jackass slurs and whines some more, "Please. Please acknowledge. Please." What a jackass.

This happens two more times. The jackass starts blasting horrible 80's music, or something. At which point I wake up. AGAIN. (third time if you are keeping track) Then, another resident comes stomping down and bams her fists on his door, and curses him & his music out, "What do I need to get you stop blasting your music at 4 in the fucking morning?!?! Your music is so loud it's SHAKING MY WALLS, SHAKING I SAID." The jackass whimpers, "Ok ok it's off, I'm turning it off." (fourth and fifth times)

Meanwhile, I'm on with 311, and while the operator is taking my info to get the police to come, the music stops. damn, too late.

I, in my usual passive-aggresive way, write a note and slip it under his door in the morning as I leave for work. What I wanted to do was pound on his door until he woke up, then yell at him. But of course, this is what I said in a note: "PLEASE don't EVER knock on our door at 4 a.m. EVER again. We feel like shit this morning thanks to you. 4b"